Hi! My name is Lexy, and I’m so excited you decided to take time out of your day to read by blog! Starting a blog has been a small dream of mine since high school. I always loved to write. Even as a child, I remember writing short stories and keeping them in my favorite Lisa Frank folder (I had the one with the snow leopard on it… iykyk).

I had a pretty crazy childhood. There was a lot of violence, abuse, and neglect in my home as I was growing up, but I was raised by a God-fearing woman–my grandmother, Sandy. She had a huge heart and a worn-out Bible. Amidst all the chaos, she raised me in the faith and instilled the things of God in my heart from a very young age. She prayed for me and over me my whole life, and I know that my life looks the way it does today because God honored her years of prayers. She stormed heaven for me. She was my best friend, and she went to be with the Lord in 2013, right before I turned 16.

Life went on. Now I’m 27, and many things have happened in the last 10 years of my life. I moved all the way across the country to New York for college. Well, I was actually running away from my life in California, and in the process, I fully ran away from Jesus and my faith altogether (I didn’t even bring my Bible with me when I moved).

After I graduated college (in the middle of covid), I started working as a professional actor in the city. I thought I had it made! I had a great career, an amazing boyfriend (who’s a doctor), and a great job as a nanny to keep me steady! I didn’t need Jesus to run my life–I figured it out all on my own. Or so I thought…

My running away from Jesus came to an end in 2023, after about two years of completely messing up my “perfect” life. I didn’t book any work as an actor for over a year, went through a horrible break-up, and lost my nanny job. I developed debilitating anxiety and depression. I would go to bed almost every night telling myself that I was going to end my life the next day, and then wake up with crippling anxiety. I could barely get out of bed and go to work. I have vivid memories of walking to the train very early in the morning, before the streets were busy, and my whole body shaking so badly I could barely walk. I’d have to ride the train with my head between my legs to fight the constant shaking and nausea.

I now know that God allowed me to get to that place. It was His goodness–allowing me to get to the end of myself.

I had finally made the decision: I was going to take my own life. I was in my studio apartment in Hell’s Kitchen at 1 a.m., on the phone with the suicide hotline. I was pouring my heart out to this woman, telling her all the plans I had for my life, and how they were all going wrong! This was my final attempt to stop myself. She paused me in the middle of my tantrum–

She said, “Ma’am–I’m so sorry. Can I place you on a brief hold?”

My heart stopped. There’s no way this woman just said that to me… as I’m about to take my own life.

“No problem!” I finally responded, almost laughing out of disbelief.

And as the music began to play over the phone as I waited… as clear as day, the Lord spoke to me.

He said, “Are you finally going to give up and talk to me?”

…

I froze.

I hung up the phone. And I finally surrendered and gave my life back to Jesus. I told God that I didn’t want to live anymore–and I told Him that He could have my life! I didn’t have a plan or an agenda. I was actually done trying to figure out my life on my own.

I was up that whole night with the Lord. He made it very clear to me that I needed to go to church. He led me to the Brooklyn Tabernacle. It was June 11th, 2023, when I attended my first service. God spoke to me again, and He told me that this church was going to be my home. The people here would be my family. I would be in the choir. I would work here. And my husband is here.

It was too much! I told God He could have my life, and He was showing me so much more than I ever wanted or dreamed of. I was overwhelmed, to say the least. I didn’t tell anyone about the things the Lord told me that day, but within 6 months I was in the choir, working at the church full-time, and had met the man who is now my husband.

It’s been 2 years since then, and I’m still working in full-time ministry, living for Jesus every day, and I just got married to my best friend. God is faithful!

In hindsight, if I had overcome the few obstacles standing in the way of my blog when I was 17, I probably would have created something very forgettable and self-glorifying. But now, as I stand in the middle of God’s blessing and favor, I know that I can confidently start this blog–because it has absolutely nothing to do with me.

God has been so good to me. I didn’t deserve it, but He saved my life when I was completely broken and lost. I ran away from Him, and He never left me! And it’s funny–because when I think back, I always felt His presence, even on my darkest days. I knew He was with me. I just ignored His presence because I wanted to do my own thing and live for myself.

But I stand here today so grateful that God didn’t let me stay in that place. Since the day I gave my life to the Lord, my anxiety and depression are GONE. He delivered me from the trap of living for myself and gave me a new life, a new purpose, and a new hope in Him!

All of this to say–I want this blog to not only be a place for me and my husband to put our memories as a family, but also a blessings journal filled with all the incredible things God has done and will do in and through our lives. I hope this blog will be a place of encouragement for all who read it, because I am not special. God doesn’t have favorites. He doesn’t have a special blessing on my life for some reason. He loves you just as much as He loves me. He desires to lead your life in the same way He desires to lead mine. And He promises that His plan for your life is greater than anything you could ever imagine.

Ephesians 3:20 says that God is able to do “exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think”! That’s amazing–and so true. My life is a living testimony of that verse.

All you have to do is surrender to Him. Stop trying to figure your life out on your own. You weren’t made to live your life for yourself, by yourself. Put your life in God's hands. Ask Him to teach you how to trust Him. The promises He made to you in His Word are true.

Proverbs 3:5–6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.”

God wants to make your path straight today. Give Him a chance.